Life Stuff

Thanks, autocorrect…

What can I say about my iPhone to explain my relationship with it? Maybe I’ll just list reasons why I consider my iPhone my best friend.

1. I spend more time with it than I spend with anybody else.
2. I sleep next to it.
3. It has spent more time in my pants than anyone ever will. *probably my favorite reason*
4. It remembers to remind me of things when I say “remind me to….”
5. It brings me closer to ones that I love that are far away
6. I could pretty much sit in a room with nothing else (as long as I had good signal) and be perfectly fine.

The reasons are endless. Geez, after a list like that…maybe it should have a name. Or its own Facebook page – like this! Now, before you continue reading…just take a moment to let that sink it. That girl really has a Facebook page for her iPhone.

…you may continue…

Reasons my iPhone and I don’t get along? Autocorrect. Not a fan. Well, sometimes a fan. Mainly I’m a fan when it happens to other people. There’s a whole website of funny autocorrect stuff! But most of the time…not a fan. When I legitimately type something incorrectly and it corrects my mistake I say “why thank you, autocorrect! You’ve done your job.” I understand when autocorrect changes certain words because you accidentally typed an “i” instead of an “o”. That makes sense. That’s its job. That should be its one and only function in my life – fixing actual mistakes. But when I type something, press the space bar, and suddenly “friended” has changed to “growlers”, which I then erase and retype “friended”, which again, changes to “growlers” — I get a little annoyed.

As you can see...I originally typed "friended" and it changed it to "growlers". But when I pressed my backspace button it was like "Oh!? You mean you wanted bad"

I know “friended” is not a word. I get it. I have two arguments for you. Argument #1 – technically neither is “growlers” Argument #2 – this happens with “real” words as well. Besides, I typed it twice. In a row. Obviously I wanted the word “friended” to remain in that ridiculous little text box! But alas, I must delete “growlers” once more to retype “friended”. And why, autocorrect, would you even change the entire word? Those two words share ONE letter that is in the same place at the same time. See?

F   R   I   E  N   D  E  D

G   R  O W  L   E  R   S

I could continue, but I’m sure you get the point.

I am, however, impressed by autocorrect’s random knowledge. Especially its musical knowledge. For instance, if you try to type Beethoven with T9 you probably wouldn’t be able to. Autocorrect will not only allow you to type it, it encourages you to type it! How? By capitalizing it for you when you’re done. Want to type “Tchaikovsky”? All you need to type is “Tcha” and it brings up its little “Hey look! I’m pretty sure you want to type ‘Tchaikovsky’, right? Look! I’m smart” bubble.

You press the space bar and BAM! Tchaikovsky is now present in your text message. I’m impressed you’re talking about Tchaikovsky in a text. Very nice. What’s even more impressive though? Those of you with an iPhone…type in “Krzy” and see what happens. Does it suggest “Krzysztof” as in “Krzysztof Penderecki“?

Cause mine does. And that…is ridiculous.You know why? Because if you wanted to type “krzy” as shorthand, text language for “crazy”…you’d be out of luck. And when you press the space bar you’d be all like “wtf? i didnt wnt tht”

As you can tell, my feelings on autocorrect are mixed. I wish it was more consistent rather than being so temperamental. I feel like autocorrect should be able to correct “spageti” to “spaghetti“. What other word would I be trying to type? It is capable of correcting “expermences” to “experiences”. But what if I really was trying to type “experiments”?

*sigh* autocorrect. You frustrate me beyond reason. And yet, without you, I wouldn’t be able to text while driving.

JOKE! I’m joking. I never text while driving. Unless it’s important. And then I always make sure both knees are on the steering wheel. At 10 and 2. Safety first!

Kidding. Again. I don’t want to get arrested.


6 thoughts on “Thanks, autocorrect…”

  1. It’s not just your iPhone, it’s all phones with autocorrect…

    I typed Tori and every time it changed it to Tory, I’ve apparently typed Rigjt more than right? and Ur instead of ur, is instead of I’d?

  2. Eh, why you typing my name? What are you saying about me? It better be that I’m awesome…

    Also, Growlers, actually is a word – why your autocorrect thought it should be in place of Friended is beyond me. A Growler is a 32 oz. (I believe) beer mug that some breweries use so that you can get happy schmammered. Therefore, Growlers would be a multiple of this. Perhaps a group of people wanted to get happy schmammered. As in, “A round of Growlers for the table, Beer Wench!”

    Lastly, everyone knows that friended is now a word. So is unfriended. As in “That stupid whore unfriended me on Facebook!” or “Yay! George friended me on Facebook. Do you think he’ll ask me out again?!”

    I like that you are blogging also! It makes me happy.

    1. Well, I assumed the Growlers was a word since it autocorrected it. But when I looked it up in it said that “growler” was a word but the plural wasn’t “growlers” I’m confused. But still…the point still stands…friended does not equal growlers.

      I remember when you blogged. That was fun.

  3. Oh yeah, when I come out there…We are going to put your iPhone next to me POJ (as in Piece of Junk) phone and just let it reign supreme and make my phone feel bad. My phone has, pretty much, zero cool features.

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