I may die because of them. I literally may have a heart attack. I hate these stupid things. WHY do they have to be so big???
First and foremost, there is an invasion. These are mutant bugs. They have no reason to exist other than to annoy the crap out of people once every seven years. They cause damage to crops and plants. They cause scarring to trees when the females lay eggs into the tree branches. What is the point, mother nature??
And second, most importantly, and worst of all, even after all of the above-mentioned devastating destruction that they cause…they scare me. Like a little baby scared. Not the kind of scared where you’re just startled because they’re so big. No…I’m talking about choosing-a-different-staircase-to-go- up scared. I’m talking like really-hates-taking-Autumn-out-at-night scared. To the point where I try to justify not taking Autumn out before I go to bed. Don’t worry, I always do….
I don’t like bugs to begin with. I’m not much of a girly-girl in any other shape or form. But with bugs…you might as well dress me in pink high heels with fake nails and a ridiculous amount of make-up. You may hear me say things like “ew” and hear high-pitched tones while watching me flail my arms…
Needless to say, it’s not pretty. But it’s necessary. Especially around those bugs. “They’re big and attackers” is what I said to Will last night. And he now refers to them as such. As he should.
I’m getting the girly-girl jitters as I write this so I think it’s about time to close up here. If any of you watch Modern Family, you will find the following scene hilarious. Why? Because this is how I act when I run up the stairs and into my house when I see a cicada.
Until tomorrow, fellow BFs. Stay safe out there…..